Evan's Birthday

Evan turned nine this past Saturday.  I don't know how much he really understands about his birthday.  I don't even know if he knows what a birthday is.  I like to believe that he understands way more than he lets on.

We kept it pretty simple as usual.  We got him his favorite pizza with his favorite toppings, and got him Krispy Kreme donuts (his favorite dessert).   We got him a marble run and a bean bag.  He doesn't need a lot of things, he just enjoys the attention from his family, and he always enjoys eating his favorite foods.

I must admit that, in the past especially, his birthday hasn't always been an event I have looked forward to with a lot of enthusiasm.  I have used it as a time to reflect on his progression or lack there of.  I sit back and think about where I had hoped he would be and am usually left feeling like a failure for not being able to get him there.

This year I tried not to think in terms of failure, but in terms of success.   I don't view his progress in terms of giant steps anymore, but in terms of baby steps (with baby steps not being any less significant).  Evan has definitely made some progress this year.  He is attending a new school that has proved to be a great fit for him.  He is learning and doing new things that I didn't think he would be able to do.  His successes come slowly with a lot of hard work, persistence, and patience,... but they come.

Evan's autism is a challenge beyond anything I thought that I could ever handle.  When Evan is having a bad day, he is having a really bad day, but when he is happy and his complex sensory needs seem to be regulated, he is really the sweetest kid and I can't imagine our lives without him. He is so completely untainted from the world.  He knows no evil, holds no grudges, and loves everyone.  Despite the challenges we face daily, we love the little guy and we are grateful that he is a part of our family.